Barry and Brian are fifty-year-old twin brothers, with Barry being the oldest by two minutes. As identical twins, they grew accustomed to always being together and imitating each other from an early age. Their mother would dress them alike and, with a lack of other kids to play with, the two boys relied on each other for company.
They remained similar in appearance and personality until they reached their teenage years. From this point onwards, the two brothers noticed the differences between them. The two remained close friends and despite their lives taking different paths in their careers and personal lives, Brian and Barry always remained loyal to each other.
Barry met his wife at their local pub when he was in his late teens. They were married by the time Barry turned twenty and his wife was eighteen. They had three children and lived a traditional family life for years. Barry worked in the local manufacturing plant as an accountant and his wife stayed at home and looked after the family.
Three weeks ago, Barry’s wife told him she wanted a divorce, and with a coldness he was unfamiliar with, she advised him she would soon move in with Terry. It turned out she had been ‘seeing’ Terry for the last ten years, as she had been having a clandestine affair.
In the bombshell’s aftermath, Diana, the eldest of Barry’s children, spent the first week trying to convince her dad that he needed to talk to her and her siblings about what was happening with him and how he was feeling. While trying to reason with her mother and understand the circumstances that started a decade-long affair.
All the children want is to see their parents back together, but Barry, who is hurt, wants nothing to do with his now ex-wife. In fact, Barry has made it clear to all his children, he will maintain his usual schedule, work, pub, golf, and for Barry, life will continue as it always has done. The only difference is his wife’s absence from his routine.
In Barry’s mind, the answer is simple: if his wife wants a life without him, good riddance. He finds comfort in the routines he knows and are familiar. Even his brother Brian can’t convince him to make a change and deal with the reasons his wife has left him. Barry’s life is perfect. He believes that there is nothing wrong with how he lives his life, and he will continue to do what he has always done.
Brian emplores his brother. ‘Barry, see this as a new beginning, imagine all the wonderful things you could experience if you just open your eyes to change.’
Eventually Brian gave up trying to change his brother. Nothing was going to make Barry accept he might have been in the wrong, and more than that, nothing was going to make him change what he was familiar and comfortable with.
Unlike Barry, Brian married later in life. He was thirty when he met his wife and had his son. This suited Brian, who had spent his younger years travelling around the world. He had followed his passions of art and music, and he created a career for himself surrounded by creative people. Unlike the emotional artists he spent his days with, Brian approached all aspects of his life with a laid-back and relaxed attitude.
At the same time his brother’s problems unfolded, Brian learned about significant upcoming changes at the company he worked for. The rumour mill was rife, with talk of job losses and restructuring. Initially Brian worried because of his age, if they were getting rid of people, they could save money removing him and replacing him with a cheaper, and younger person. But finding a new job in his later years may not be that easy. They had some savings and Brian was confident that he would find something else if it came to it. But an element of concern remained in the old mans mind.
One evening, as he talked to his wife about the impending changes, Brian decided instead of worrying he would take a pragmatic approach. Instead of thinking that he was finished, he would consider himself the asset he was to the company. Maybe with his experience and an open attitude to learn new things and change, he could remain valuable to the organisation.
Feeling much more content with this approach Brian told his wife. ‘I see this as a fresh start, my love. It is possible that there are better ways to work that I havent experienced, and maybe these new people will bring this with them. I’m going to ride out this journey and accept what will be.’
With time, it became clear that Brian was right. The new people the management brought in had innovative ideas and different approaches to working. Brian was right to embrace the change.
He was front and centre, pushing his own desire for change and innovation, and absorbing the new skills he learned quickly, blending them with his vast experience. Brian was always the first to volunteer for new projects and always pragmatic when considering a new way of working. The management liked how adaptable Brian was and it had earned him the respect of all those around him.
Twelve months later, the brothers were together attending a family function. Both men had experienced significant life changes at the same time. Barry sat at the table observing the surrounding people, listening to his brother talking about the exciting new job he had just accepted with his company. He was aloof and a little distant from those around him, no one had asked about his ex-wife but everyone there knew what had happened. Barry was still dumbfounded that she had left him, and astonished that she had cheated on him. He had provided a nice comfortable life for them, and if she wasn’t grateful for that well, she may as well be dead to him.
Brian was worried about his brother. Brian had undeniably become the more extroverted of the two men. But as he watched his twin brother throughout the night Brian considered that this was more than Barry’s usual introversion.
Brian had noticed Barry’s grey pallor and droopy eyes. His brother’s usual shine and pride had disappeared, and a sadness had taken its place, but that gave off a coldness around him.
At the bar, Diana and Troy, the children of the two men, stood discussing their parents. Troy was concerned about his Uncle Barry.
‘Has he spoken about the divorce at all?’
‘No, he won’t entertain a conversation about it, he won’t even have mum’s name spoken out loud in his presence. And I get it. I mean, she had an affair for ten years. I don’t expect him to forgive her, jeez I’m not sure I can forgive her and she’s my mum. But he needs to talk about it, its eating him alive.’
‘I know my dad tried to talk to him, wanted him to go and stay with him and mum for a few weeks but he made up some excuse.’
‘It’s crazy though, mum asked me the other day how he was getting on. I told her the truth. I guess part of me wanted her to take some responsibility for it. You know what she said to me, stone cold, no emotion at all. She told me she wasn’t surprised. He was never going to take the opportunity for a new beginning. He was always stuck in his old boring ways and that’s why she left him.’
Shocked at what his cousin was telling him, Troy looked over at the table where the two brothers sat side by side. ‘Isn’t it strange, two identical twin brothers, yet they couldn’t be more different?’
Diana picked up her glass of wine, and with a large gulp, she nodded her head. ‘God, I know your dad embraces change. He doesn’t worry about being out classed, accepts everything as a learning experience and jumps into new adventures without fear. My dad is scared of his own shadow changing direction.’
